Haha.
Wow, reading back is shocking. I can't believe what kind of girl I used to be.
It's amazing how much I've changed over time. This past year has really changed me.
Overall, I'm a lot happier with the person I've become.
There are some things I need to work out, I've been having panic attacks, and according to my parents, I have anxiety. It's hard to deal with, and it really came out of nowhere...considering my life had kind of started looking up. One of my many theories on why I've been malfunctioning is that I'm almost eighteen and I should be graduating soon, itching to start my life, yet due to the fact that I screwed up in school I'm around a year behind.
Tough luck!

My life no longer revolves around boys. Reading all those old entries was sort of repulsing. I centered my life on boys and what I so naively believed to be "love".
It was never anything remotely real.
All cat 'n mouse games.

I've been with a new boyfriend for about six months now. It's pretty nice.
Certainly never had anyone like him. He's really sweet, and the fact that it's been six months and I can still say that, well that's something!

The past disappeared so suddenly. I feel as though all I have left of it are select memories, and even those are beginning to fade. That should be a good thing, because the past isn't somewhere I plan on living. It's just hard to adjust. Almost everyone I used to know, and be close with, they're all gone.
Everything is new. New and mostly improved. So, I can't quite understand why I'm having such a hard time dealing with it. But I am.
One of my current [many] worries is moving. That's even more NEW.
I just cannot wait to begin my own life, one that does not "belong" to my parents.

I have so much to say. So much goes unsaid all of the time.

:].

I'm feeling kinda gooood.
Maybe this month will be a good one, at least I hope so.

I'm thinking about starting a story, or maybe even a novel. With all the time I have on my hands and an imagination like mine, I'm sure to come up with something interesting.

I miss watching Dougggg.

Life is pathetic &depressing.
:[[

Currently Reading 1984 (Signet Classics) By George Orwell see related

Mmm. Things are alright.
Last month was a miserable one, for some reason.
This one is one of those ones that I can bare [bear?] with.
And it's almost over, things just fly right on by now, don't they?

Haven't slept yet thoughhhhh.

Yesterday was supposed to be Day 3 of my fast, but I woke up so weak and hot! I guess I needed to eat to function throughout the day. But it's a new day now! &Day 1 of my new fast. I love fasting, it makes me feel like I can finally control my eating habits. Somehow it really excites me, I'm guessing because it's associated with dropping poundsssss! But after day 3, it really becomes hard. I've gotta work on that.

I'm excited for September, not because my birthday is within that month...but because by then, I should be down to at least 110 pounds. :]
At least, that is what I'm expecting. I've already lost around 16 pounds, possibly more. Unfortunately I haven't been around a scaleee, but my pants are more loose than they are tight! And hopefully, maybe it'll come sooner and I can get down to my real GW which is 100. And then we'll see what happens.
Accusations are no fun, though.



I hope things stop being alright and that they start being good/great.  I'd really like that.